You Matter



I wasn’t having the best day last week. Moving for the 5th time in 12 months, feeling way behind with what I wanted to accomplish with work and a lack of sleep I was feeling overwhelmed. But, I was reminded, once again that anyone, at any age, has the power to completely shift someone else’s day.

I was walking into my yoga studio, Tantris in West Hollywood, and as a headed down the hallway to get changed for class I heard, “I really like your shirt”.

I stopped and looked to my right and it was this little girl, about 10 years old sitting on a LUVSACK in front of me. I smiled, said “thank you” and then proceeded to continue on towards the locker room. But, something pulled me to turn around and talk to Samara, who I came to find out was waiting for her mom because she was in a meeting with Russell Simmons, founder of Tantris.

I asked her, “what do you like about my shirt?”, which read:




And, she replied in her soft, innocent voice, “Because it represents a quality that I really admire.”

I was a bit taken back by the amount of insight and thoughtfulness this girl had at 10 years old. But, even more of my awareness became focused on the fact that she completely changed my day. She reminded me that all these external things that we are chasing, like accolades or money, don’t really matter. They are illusions of security. Our values, our human connection and our souls are what matter far greater than anything we could possibly accomplish. They are the things that are lasting. The things that fill us up without having to “do” anything. They exist within us already and are our innate human nature. It’s not something we have to search for. They are who we inherently already are — loving, kind, and thoughtful. Everything else is just fear.

Samara reminded me again, that at the end of the day, we all only want a couple things. We want to be loved, yes. But, what we really crave is to know that we matter. That we are here for a reason. That we have purpose.

I wrote in my book, UN/TRAIN, that “I truly believe that everyone has a unique gift. And that gift is your trust, most authentic self. When we discover this within ourselves we can give it away. And, that, I think is the point of life” We all have things that make us unique. But, we all share the human need to be loved. Wanting to know that we matter.

At the end of the day we have to value ourselves to truly believe that we matter. We can receive all the compliments in the world, but they don’t mean much until we fuse them with the core of our being. We have to truly believe them and let them soak into our soul. Whether it’s from a 10 year old girl, mentor or friend. And, when we do, it’s our responsibility to share this love we’ve received back with the rest of the world. Through the people we encounter and the work that we do. We are all one. Not black. Not white. We are human.

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